Everything I know about running food, drink and people, I can explain with an oyster. Seven rules for the shellfish, seven for everything else. They are the same rules.
Never eat a bad-smelling or old oyster.
Life is too short to swallow shit.
Don't eat more than you sell. You won't get rich.
Do not undersell yourself. You'll soon be poor.
Always use the correct knife to open, otherwise you will injure yourself. A screwdriver won't cut it. Be prepared.
Wear the right shoes for the right occasions. Loafers for the dancing, brogue boots for the countryside. Be prepared.
Never pre-open. You can't cheat the shuck, and you will be sick. Do the right thing.
The right decision is normally the hard one. Choose the hard one.
Look after your bounty. The better you do, the better they taste, the fresher they stay.
Look after your team. The more you do, the better they feel, the longer they stay.
Enjoy the garnish. Naked is best, but try something new. Mignonette, deep fried, Vietnamese.
Enjoy yourself. Don't take things too seriously, other than clothes. Be creative.
Trust your judgement. Close your eyes, open your nose, and the fresh sea aroma will whisk you away. If it doesn't, don't eat it.
Trust your judgement. If it doesn't smell right, it probably isn't right.
Life and oysters. Tough, uncompromising, exciting, divisive, fresh, fun, expensive and just a little bit dangerous.
